Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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