babies were throwing up all over the place
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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