I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I deserve this hangover.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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