If that was your dad, he is hot
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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