I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
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We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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