Dual....:-)
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I checked into jail on foursquare
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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