I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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