some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize