I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
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We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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