Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize