my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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