dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize