OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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