My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize