We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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