I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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