hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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