we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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