so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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