when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize