the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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