Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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