Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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