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fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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