It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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