ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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