I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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