I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize