He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize