oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
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officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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