i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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