WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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