I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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