why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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