Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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