I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize