So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
These tits shall not be calmed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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