My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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