The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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