break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize