I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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