you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am midnight drunk by noon
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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