IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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