I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize