I'm going to rape someone's good day.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize