$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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