sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i think i just lost a toe
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize