I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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