My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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