this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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